BY CATHERINE WILHOIT

You may have encountered this before. Maybe even often. You are at a total impasse, locked in a legal, personal or business dispute. You sit, out of your mind frustrated, and say to yourself: It would be so nice to have someone who could help us work out this problem. But who? Not someone personally involved, or even someone you know. You need someone who is required to keep your confidence and who is trained to help you find a resolution that works for both sides. Have you considered mediation?

For those of you have never worked with a mediator, as well as those of you who may have mediated in the past but not thought about it much recently, I encourage you to consider the benefits of mediation.

Mediators are professionals trained to help disagreeing parties identify and address issues and resolve disputes. Mediation is a voluntary, versatile process that can be helpful in many situations. You might find mediation programs in schools, employment settings, and within communities. The mediation process is embraced by our civil, family, and even some of our criminal judicial systems. It is such an effective process that jurisdictions across the United States require pre-trial mediation, a practice that has significantly reduced congestion to our courts by encouraging and allowing for settlement.

And mediation is by law entirely confidential. With little exception, nothing disclosed during mediation can be used against you in a court of law or adversarial proceeding. The confidentiality of mediation, together with the use of a trained mediator, creates a safe environment to address difficult issues. In addition to seeking agreement, parties are able to personally and freely express their positions, frustrations and desires during mediation.

Mediation is arguably best known for benefitting litigants (parties involved in court cases) who may be better suited than a judge, arbitrator or jury to resolve their own disputes. Mediation is so effective and empowering to litigants that retired judges often elect to mediate cases upon retirement. Likewise, most attorneys would tell you without hesitation that mediation is important and that it should be thoughtfully utilized. On the civil side, mediation may be the best opportunity to hedge risk, negotiate terms, or sell and purchase liability. With regard to family disputes, parties also have an opportunity to distribute property in a manner that best suits the family’s needs, consider the unique and best interests of their children as they shape parenting schedules, and agree upon terms for payment of spousal and child support. A mediated agreement reached through self-determination is more certain, less time consuming, and often less costly than an arm’s length adjudication by a third party, whether by a jury, judge, or an arbitrator. And, if parties do not reach an agreement, they lose none of their rights. They are free to pursue their claims and proceed to a hearing in court, knowing that they made a meaningful attempt to settle their case.

When approached with the right mindset, mediation is also an opportunity to learn. For example, one might learn the value that an opposing party has assigned to a case or use a mediation session as an educational opportunity to develop or test legal theories or gain insight as to the basis for the other party’s position. Without a doubt, a participant will learn something through mediation about themselves and how they approach conflict.

Working with a mediator means that you have hired someone with a unique and singular objective: helping you and another person or party reach an agreement. Mediators are skilled in the art of negotiation and trained to aid disputants in identifying and evaluating realistic and sometimes creative solutions. Even still, the success or failure of mediation depends in part on the attitude, resilience, and flexibility of those involved. For those who thoughtfully select a mediator and trust in the mediation process, they may find satisfaction in putting their problems behind them so that they can move forward with a resolution created by them, rather than for them.

Catherine Wilhoit, an attorney, is president of the Mediation and Meeting Center of Charleston.